I'm still here

It's been a while, but I am here. There has been so much that has happened over the past 3 weeks and I am just now starting to recover from it all. It's taken a lot of prayer, but everything happens for a reason and it has been amazing to see the faith in the eyes of parents who have lost a child. They have been the ones who have helped me through this when I was praying for the strength to help them. Ironic, but true.

October 31st. Hey! It's Halloween ya'll!

Ashlyn is going to be Tinkerbell tonight. This costume was decided on after a long list of others including 1) CareBear 2) Monster 3) Kitty Cat 4) Butterfly and 5) Princess. Don't know how we got to Tinkerbell but we are here and the costume is hanging in her closet so there is no turning back. We'll be making the neighborhood rounds with friends and settling back in at home with a little candy, popcorn, and the Tigger and Pooh Halloween movie.

We've had some major behavioral issues the past 2 weeks, but we experienced a family tragedy and trying to explain why everyone is sad didn't seem to register with her. All she knew was that her mommy and daddy (grandparents, uncles.... her entire family) were having a hard time and the confusion for her manifested in bad behavior. I am happy to say that we seem to be back on the right track.

We have a busy November ahead of us. There is something to do every weekend of the month, including Ashlyn's first flower girl experience and she is headed for her "Week at Gran's" later in the month. We were talking about it last night and she said, "Gran is fun". Yeah Gran! I have to get DeMonty the journal he has been requesting for months so that he can catalog her funniest moments, like the time she said, "Daddy... I need to talk to you. Sit down". Evidently he had done something wrong and she needed to talk to him about it (like we do her). My kid is amazing!! :)

Sorry for the long pause, but I think I am back to my "normal" self so I will blog more often.

Elephants and Cookies

First off, I just want to say that after speaking with several friends about the non-existent elephants at the Nashville Zoo at Grassemere and hearing that they are really there (it's like they have seen Big Foot and I still don't believe them) @brandiandboys has photograhic evidence that they are really there. I think she may have gotten the picture off of the Animal Planet website (just kidding Brandi). Now I'm thinking that I need to take Ashlyn back there and spend another $21 just to high-tail it to the blackhole where the elephants are located, grab a pretzel (that she talked about the entire time I walked (she rode) to the exit) and head back home. Then again, I think that I may just wait until we head to the Memphis Zoo (highly recommended by our houseguest who just moved from there) and let her take in a full zoo experience. Nothing against the one here, but I was a little dissapointed. The animals were just lazy and when I pay $21 to see something live I expect a show.

Enough about zoos. I want to talk about something important during these troubling economic times. Cookies. Not just any cookies, but these are some high-class department store cookies.

About a year ago, a friend forwarded me an email from a woman who had been shopping at Nordstrom's or Bloomingdale's (or maybe another high-end department store... don't really rememeber the name) who had ordered this cookie and asked about the recipe. She was told that she could buy it for three sixty-five so she told them to put it on her card, only to find out that she had been billed $365 when she received her monthly statement. She called the store to inform them of the error but was told that she had been billed the correct amount and they would not credit the purchase back to her card because she already had the reciped. Needless to say, she got her revenge by emailing this recipe to a friend who emailed it to a friend who emailed it to a friend, and so on and so forth. So... I now have this fabulous recipe.

Ashlyn's daycare was closed on Tuesday, so we spent the day watching Scooby-Doo, carving Jack-o-laterns (I carved, she colored), and making cookies... 112 cookies to be exact. It may have been 121 or 161, but I am really bad about switching numbers around or giving a ballpark figure (kinda like telling you that I don't remember the name of the store), but nonetheless it makes over 100 cookies.

You see the measurements for this recipes were restaurant standards, which I would have known if I had taken the time to read the bottom of the recipe where it cleary states "Makes 100 (and something) cookies". So, we now how all of these cookies for 3 adults and 1 child to eat. Half have been taken to the daycare, but there are still alot left. The plan is to split them so that DeMonty and I can bring them to work.

Anyway... it's a really good oatmeal and chocolate chip cookie, so if you would like recipe, just let me know or I may post it soon (would make a great Christmas cookie).

When a Child Withholds the Truth

Ashlyn and I had a great day on Monday. After the zoo (which was a complete bust after we saw her most requested animal- the zebra) we headed to Shoney's for lunch with daddy and then ran a few errands. We made it back to the house around 4:30, and I knew I was in for some trouble during the 3 hours before bedtime because... she had not taken a nap.

I decided to call my mom to check on her (since we had missed our weekly Sunday call) and was sitting in the bonus room talking to her when it happened. A lie was told.

During the past 2 weeks, DeMonty andI have noticed that Ashlyn has been withholding the truth from us at least once a week. While she is only 3, she knows right from wrong, and tends to fib when she thinks she is going to get into trouble (like most kids). The first incident happened at a birthday party. 2 days later, the next incident involved toilet paper, and last week's incident involved an object that was not supposed to be in her mouth. But Monday's fib (that word sounds so much nicer than lie) was a doozy.

So... as I am sitting there talking to mom, Ashyln lets me know that she is going to her juice, which was on the island in the kitchen. I nodded in agreement and she took off. I continued talking, but for a brief second I thought that it was taking her a long time to get her juice, but really didn't think anything of it because she is easily sidetracked. When she came back, she had her cup and sat down next to me. Then... the fib began.

After a minute or two she looks at me and says "I didn't eat nothing", which is a really strange comment coming from a 3 year old who had gone downstairs to get her juice (clue #1)... or so I thought until the smell of chocolate hit my nose (clue #2). Then I remembered the Hershey's Kisses that were also on the island, which were in close proximity to the juice, but she would have needed to climb into the barstool to reach them... hence the delay in coming back upstairs.

When asked if she had eaten chocolate, her response was "no" of course. When asked why her breath smelled like chocolate, she preceeded to breathe into her hand (to smell for herself) and said, "I don't smell like chocolate. I just drank my juice". So, I decided to head downstairs with her to check the trashcan. She asked on the way down if she was going to get a spanking (which was my 3rd clue that the chocolate had indeed been consumed).

Of course, the shiny aluminim wrapper and the Hershey's Kiss paper were on the top. So, we proceeded to have the following conversation:

Me: Did you eat the chocolate?

Ash: No, I just drank my juice.

Me: Then why is the paper in the trash?

Ash: I just drank my juice.

Me: Did you eat this candy? (pointing to the remaining Kisses on the island)

Ash: Um, um, um.

Me: Tell me what you did when you came downstairs.

Ash: I came downstairs and got my juice and then I drank it.

Me: You're telling me a fib. I know you ate the candy because the paper is in the trash can and you were the only one down here.

Ash: Are you going to spank me?

Me: You will get a spanking for lying. Are you ready to tell the truth? What did you do when you came downstairs?

Ash: I ate the candy.

Phew... finally.... she succumbs to defeat and we head upstairs for the spanking. Now... please don't beat me up for spanking her, but I believe that this spanking was definitely warranted, plus I explained to her why she was getting one. Each time this has happened, I have explained that while she may still get in trouble, if she will just tell us the truth and not fib she will not get a spanking. Again... she's only 3 and she may have a hard time grasping things, but at the same time, she knows right from wrong and she knew eating the candy without asking was something she shouldn't have done but she did it anyway. There are consequences to actions (good and bad) and I would rather instill this in her at the tender age of 3 and not 13.

She tried to forgo the spanking with a hug, a kiss, and a tear-filled "I love you momma", but she was still spanked (as badly as is killed me to do it). Those big brown eyes get me everytime (which saved her from a spanking during the toilet paper incident), but this time I had to do it because I had already given her a "freebie". Of course, the mother in me couldn't stand to see her cry, so a few minutes after the spanking I picked her up and hugged her.

Could you have withheld a hug from a child with a face like this?

When her daddy got home, she let him know that she had gotten a spanking for not telling the truth about eating the candy (see... she does get it) and said that she needed to ask mommy and daddy if she wants something. Smart girl!

Any other suggestions on how to handle fibs? I know some don't agree with spanking, but I'm not one of those parents. I don't always spank, we aslo do time out and when she gets older she will write sentences (like I had to do when I got into trouble at school- "I will not talk during class" 100 times please), but what are some other ways to punish for fibbing?